An Ode to Pain

Has there ever been a more present companion? This, the greeter at ones beginning and departures most vigilant host. A scholar and a scribe, a tutor and a bride, none other can wear so many a hat. It will not compromise its undoing and you beseech in vain its mercy as it takes the sex of she, so fitting one capable of seemingly determined scorn. A carver of fat, down to the raw, as maybe this time your eyes find enlightenment to your plight.
And so now you see its purpose, and you take the hand of this new friend, resolving to feel and squirm beneath its intention until the light finds you once again.

A melody found my ear and asked to sing my soul, I obliged.

Songbird

{VERSE 1}

Does your songbird sing an empty tune, keeps you from sleep, and you curse up at the moon. Its all been done before, broken records on the floor. You keep trying to find a safe place to close your eyes. Does your song bird sing an empty tune?

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{CHORUS}

Love lost and found, traded for trinkets, glitter and gold, just something tangible to hold. And you whisper to your lover that your cold inside, I'm so cold inside.

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{VERSE 2}

Your smart enough to question but not smart enough to find the answers, life gets faded and your lyrics jaded, you've heard it all before. Your such a skeptic gave up the grip on what you expected from all of the books that clutter your table, And your songbird sings an empty tune.

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{INSTUMENTAL}

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{VERSE 3}

Your eyes can't see and your heart won't jump, your always waiting for the other shoe to drop. War time mind with peace all around. and you know you feel safer when your down. Its of your own doing, live to fast trying to find your way home. You have nothing sacred wouldn't know it if you did and so your songbird sings an empty tune.

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{CHORUS}

Love lost and found, traded for trinkets, glitter and gold just something tangible to hold. And you whisper to your lover that your cold inside, Im so cold inside.

I am

I am a traveler like you, worn shoes, dusty suitcase swung from my hand.

I am a seeker like you, looking for truth, looking for meaning, hanging on to my name as it points back to my beginning.

I am a lover like you, seeking connection and comfort in an ever changing world, Looking for a forever love in a time bound and mortal body.

I am like you, a child of my mother, I am a daughter of my father, a mother of my children and a student of life's experiences.

I am human like you, sick and healed within flesh and bone, broken by stones, risen from tragedy, fallen from uncertainty, bound by the vines of fear and cut loose by the sharp edge of anger.

Like you I have a soul that was made to grow, to question and resolve that I will never know all the answers.

I am like you a director of intention, mindfully constructed and sent with mission, whether be by prayer or spell, whether be by dream, hope or action. Like your life, my life is a reflection of intention.

Some lessons I have learned....

You have a personal responsibility to yourself and others be the best person you can be in life.

Be real, life can't touch a soul that is not genuine.

Think, question, seek the truth.

Know yourself, the good and the improvable.

Be a positive person for yourself and for the people that you contribute energy to everyday.

If you fall get up before you get comfortable being down. It is easy to become distracted when your feeling low.

Be respectful of the planet that sustains your physical life and encourages your spiritual growth.

If you break it, fix it. Things or feelings.

Don't be afraid to grow in the sunshine of discovery, comfort is often overrated.

See others as fellow travelers, respect their paths and speed of travel, no one is so enlightened as to judge the progress of another soul.

If anyone tells you not to question, question even more. Few choices given is just as bad as no choice at all.

Don't compromise your beliefs for acceptance but never cling so tightly they become a noose.

Let people know you, it is a gift to yourself.

Learn from your blunders and move on, everything is a lesson, everything is an opportunity to grow.

Discomfort of the mind is always a reminder for growth and reflection.

Don't be your past, present or future. Be the student, humble and mindful living in each moment.

Listen, observe, and don't fear silence.

Kindness and compassion will always trump being right.

Love is an action word.

Never make a serious decision when your tired, sick or unbalanced.

Laugh at yourself. Life can be messy.

Never live down to others expectations of you. Some people thrive on others failures.

Take care of your body.

Gratitude should be a natural reflex of your soul, without it the joys of your life will be unrealized.

Genuine love requires a genuine desire to grow with another person. Bad hair days and all.

Do what humans do

Find shelter, find food, teach and care for the children.

Plan for the winter, work in the spring, harvest in the summer, keep working while you sing.

Sing the stories so all remember how to make their way, through the seasons and the nights, through the heat of the warmer days.

Remember where you came from, remember where you have been, remember where your going when the waters rise again.

Make your fire and tend it in the circle that you keep.

Sleep in the bed your hands have made and wake from the mercy of sleep.

Carry your peoples history balanced on your hip, a new face and a new life trip begins,

and so they too will learn to do what humans do.

Progress

If I look out from this mountain top I can see history twist and wind along the skin of the earth, old roads leading to new ideas.

I see mothers backs carrying children, I see horses carry riders, covered wagons, smoking trains, noisy model T's, quiet street cars, humming buses and the winding sing of a motorcycle zipping along pavement at 110.

Here simple people with humbly simple lives collected along the river banks walking with mindful gratitude for the harvest offered by the Mother. Simple abundance was the mantra that served them.

I see busied people who live under the sky but never notice the clouds, they rush about like the builder ants after a rain and I wonder if they have lost the ability to smell spring arriving.

We are a new species grown from the the sacrifices of our ancestors, we with our new abilities never needed before, bred for speed and intelligence ,doing unintelligent things, dependant on the whole, freedom sacrificed for convenience and ever competing to have it all.

We starve at the breast of our Mother because we no longer recognise her face, no comfort can be found at her touch, we are hard and we are lost in the illusion of technologies abundance.

Camping

I drove to the place where the woods still had magic. It was far from the city and far from the traffic of everyday life and everyday places, everyday problems and everyday faces.
I planted a tent where the trees gave way, a beautiful spot where we could lay.
My dog sniffed her best sniffing with great delight and followed a scent with all of her might, she whispered to the squirrel who lived in the tree, come down, please come down, come down and meet me.
My daughter danced her best dance on the stump of a pine tree and the birds watched from a distance these two and me.
A stream tricked by nearly hidden by the trees and fish swam about with no knowledge of me.
I made a little fire circled with stones and we sat in its warmth and told the stories we'd known. The crickets kept watch for the creatures that prowl, silence giving them away into the early wee hours.
When the stories were told and bellies were full we slept under the stars in the arms of the woods.

Friends and Foes

Put not your faith in mans holy endeavors for they are not carried by a power greater than greed.

You are wiser to trust simple rain to bring ones soul relief, as religion serves the powerful far before the powerless, and rain falls indiscriminately to whomever shall hold a bucket.

Wait not simple souls upon the mercy of your brothers, their lands are far and their hearts farther, from the plights of those without.

The Praise of Rain

Rain, you know not the place you hold in the heart of a desert soul.
You are the promise of retreat and renewal, of life and rest.
You are the long awaited savior to desolation's home.
You are the bringer of new beginnings and the force of change.
Come and stay, for none other is more loved.
Come and stay, for none others name is so cherished.
Come and stay Goddess of Rain and bless us with your charity.

It Is What It Is

Long way down, longer way up, so you sit at the edge of your world and wait.
It is hard to be good when your hurting inside, hard to let go of the old ways.
Choices become your history and wear well or heavily on your heart.
We are all alone and we are all lost, some find comfort in it, others distress.
Some become map makers others take the dive, some become climbers , others never try.
But all in the end remember the trip, some with a smile and others with regret.

Somedays life is a quick walk down a short road, other days you count the cracks.

A Beautiful Place

I need to go to a beautiful place that I may remember my name.

Someplace with trees that have seen it all, water that cleans and ripples and falls, and soil that reclaims its bounty.

I need to find balance again, to fill up and to let go, to somehow really know what it is to be at peace in this skin.

When We Fall

I heard a creaking moan beneath my feet, a small running crack made its way across my path. I heard the tear within my heart and my eyes filled with the pain of a thousand years.

Steady as you go, even if its down. Steady as you go its so far down.

I looked for the light house but it was not to be found.

I circled about like a mad dog hoping for enlightenment or a saviors hand.

I resolved to the fact that I was breaking despite all of my best intentions.

There teetering on the edge, I wait for a breeze.

And this is how it feels when we fall.

Death

Death is not brought by the wings of a bird but accompanied in the heart of the departing.

It is conceptions resolution, a caterpillars transformation to a spiritual plane, the same self in new skin, yet again.

How could I deny it or think myself undeserving when so many greater than I have taken its hand. Death would be an honor if walked in your steps, a simple, loving being resigned without regret.

Him

I saw him once in a foggy daydream standing below a nights burning streetlamp.
He faced me, hands in the pockets of his long tailored coat. I knew him somehow but his name escaped me. I felt that if he would only speak his voice would clear my head, I would remember.
He looked like home and I so wanted to return, my eyes locked afraid to look away.
Half of my heart wept for needing him and the other rejoiced having not seen his face to miss.

Balance

Teeter totter toy, children laugh from the fright of falling safely. Its only so much fun when you understand its limitations.
Teeter totter in the dark, have only your seat and imagination. Welcome to life, welcome to the beginning of your search for balance.
To find your equal, to find your polar opposite, one searches a lifetime for their counter balance.
And if you should find it where will you be but stationary, motionless and possibly free.

The Long Walk

I came to see the sea but instead she saw me, she wrapped me up in her icy arms and sang me off to sleep.

Your Mouth

Quiet your voice, make it disappear along with the fear, it is easier to not feel it you know.
Don't ruin your pretty face with need, no one wants to hear you plead and no one wants to listen to your crap.
Who do you think you are, you don't have a friend in the world and you know you are only tolerated.
Scream through your lips but no one will hear you because all that they see is a smile, you die all the while and you probably deserve it with all of your willful ways.
You fall apart inside and keep up the charade. There are others that need your ear and pseudo strength.
Paint your face and hope, hope for someones charity, you are a beggar and a sham, its no wonder no one can stand to hear you mutter a word from your sorry mouth.

At Your Feet ( A song I wrote)

Verse 1

I heard the day creak into night, watched the darkness chase the light.

I saw you sleeping there in your bed, a dream taking shape in your head.

You know I couldn't come to you as I am so I decided to change, as we all can. As we all can.

Mist through your mirror and I'm there, driven by intention.

Witchy bitch...but you know my real name and invited me in, In through your doorway.

You should have smelled me coming and now I'm in your head. You heard me when I whispered,

you knew what I had said, knew what I had said. And now....

Chorus 1

I am the white cat that sleeps at your feet, silver nails and silver teeth, blue eyes shining into

your darkness, I will watch for the bad things that crawl through your conscience. I am all I want to be when I'm here at your feet. I would let you use me, purr when you abuse me. I'm dime a dozen baby, but I'm yours if you want me.

Verse 2

I'm only as crazy as I choose to be, maybe I have to see things a little differently.

Am I a distraction or a hearts love impassioned by the promise of something new and real, something you cant wait to feel, there at your feet?

And from there I try to see myself through your eyes, don't know if I want to see it, don't know if I can be it, and what I see is an illusion because you don't really know me. Baby you don't really know me...yet,

Chorus 2

I am the white cat that sleeps at your feet, silver claws and silver teeth, blue eyes shining in your darkness. I will watch for the bad things that crawl through your conscience. I am all I want to be when I am here at your feet. I would let you use me and purr when you abuse me. I'm dime a dozen baby, but I'm yours when you want me.

Verse 3

I'm not a copy, I'm not your new start, I'm not the next bitch in line to break your fucking heart.

There is nothing left to say, take or leave me here, and here is where I'll stay...tonight.

I cant have half of you although I'm patient all the same, and I cant be the reason you finally go insane. Maybe you have had too many willing to love you and now it doesn't mean a thing, or maybe no one could do it the way that you need.

You know my heart isn't easy although my body may be, but once I decide to love you, its all that I will need. You can keep your gold and your things you let me hold, I'll take your heart because....

Chorus 3

I'm just the white cat that sleeps at your feet, silver nails and little silver teeth, blue eyes shining into your darkness. And I will watch for the demons that crawl through your dreams. I am all I want to be when I'm here at your feet. I would let you use me, smile when you abuse me, I'm dime a dozen baby, but I'm yours if you would keep me.

Verse 4

Its cold here, out in the night, theres nothing left to find, theres no one left to fight. Its just a dream, a hearts wish to be where the sun is. Maybe I will find it if I keep on trying. I know its too much to ask, its too much to give, and I'm a joke that has no punch line, so anti climactic.

But its OK, we are all the same, looking for the impossible on a ride that never ends. And I will be right here, waiting like I do, and you will be where you want to be...where you should. But....

Chorus 4

I am the white cat that sleeps at your feet, silver nails and silver teeth, blue eyes shining into your darkness. I will watch for the bad things that crawl through your conscience.

I am all I want to be when I am here at your feet. I would let you use me, smile when you abuse me, I'm dime a dozen, dime a dozen, dime a dozen, I know.... But I'm yours if you want me.